I remember a conversation over lunch with my former graduate school supervisor as we discussed my training for the marathon:

23-year-old-me: “Ugh, I still have my 20-miler to do. Training has been really difficult. I don’t know how I’ll get through it.”

Dr. Williams: “But look at all you’ve already accomplished! We’re so focused on the hill up ahead that we forget to look behind us at how far we’ve come.”

Isn’t that the truth? He’s so wise. We live in an incredibly fast-paced, goal-oriented society, where we’re quick to check the next thing off our list. We keep moving, working, and achieving. And we’re good at it! As a recovering goal-setting list-maker myself (False. I am not recovering and likely won’t be any time soon), I always look forward to setting goals for the new year ahead. Like many, I am often anxious to work toward something new, something better, something different. Pausing can be scary, as it may bring self-awareness to an unhappiness we need to confront. Or we might fall into the trap of focusing on what we lack, that we aren’t where we want to be. I’ve heard this called the “missing tile syndrome”: you look up and only see what is missing, rather than all the other tiles that are already in place.

Before jumping into goal-setting for 2019, let’s pause for a moment to reflect on the 2018 journey. We might be full of gratitude as we think about health, blessings, unique experiences, pleasant surprises, and the wonderful people in our lives. We also might be overwhelmed as we recall hardships, unexpected changes, heightened stress, or the loss of loved ones. Whatever our experience, I can imagine a wealth of strength and resilience that surfaced. Perhaps you surprised yourself in how you handled adversity, or, at the very least, you’ve become aware of areas for continued personal growth.

Don’t underestimate the value of an end-of-year pause. It can allow us some space for much-needed mindfulness and self-compassion, and can leave us feeling even more refreshed in the new year. Some food for thought in these cold, cozy, quiet moments:

What did I learn about myself through my experiences this year?

Where have I grown emotionally? Relationally?

Where can I step out of my comfort zone next year?