The Thrill of It

I’m not a huge champion of New Year’s Resolutions. I never make them, because I know I never keep them. Trying to lose 5 pounds quickly turns into trying 5 new restaurants, and the money I save gets spent frivolously. I do appreciate, however, the intention of resolutions, and that the determination for self-improvement in the New Year serves as a means of restoring hope and purpose—a notion I find difficult to demean.

This year, I decided to set my intention to seek more thrills. At first, this seemed like a fairly large feat: to be THRILLED means to be electrified, awakened, overjoyed—all seemingly extraordinary emotions to access. And then I remembered that I actually have access to these moments every single day, I just don’t actively notice them. Take the newest Bachelor’s sexy Venezuelan accent, for one: it enthralls me. I cannot get enough. Finding a coffee shop that stocks almond milk completely enhances my day.  Being witness to a client’s insight humbles and inspires me. I just don’t often simmer in these moments of bliss for as long as I’d like.

This should be a no brainer, as I often coach my clients in awakening their senses, predominantly for sexual pleasure, but also for simple, everyday indulgences. It’s a practice in mindfulness, I’ll say, one that can (and should!) be ongoing for as long as you live.

I find myself wondering about my clients in this New Year, and what intentions they’d like to set for themselves or their partnerships in 2014. Perhaps it’s learning to communicate more effectively, or getting pregnant, or taking more romantic risks. Any and all intentions are noble, as they give meaning to our actions. Whatever your wish for the New Year, I hope it’s meaningful, enduring, and at least a touch indulgent.

So here’s to 2015: let there be thrills!

Amy Freier, LCPC

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I’m Kimberly Sharky

AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and Licensed Marital and Family Therapist

I offer relationship & sex coaching in my New York City office & Worldwide via Zoom

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